sage wisdom thats not so wise.

i recently realized i should probably never be able to give advice. but in case you are a kindred spirit {where a life of mismatched socks, billions of muffins, lots of speeding tickets, a complete absence of money, embarrasment, and straight up procrastination is fine by you} here's my two cents. its wise-lessdom advice that you maybe shouldn't take.

abandon all responsibilities, grab a big gulp, and go to the park.

eat ice cream for dinner.

PROCRASTINATE!

{always}

bowl backwards. bowl with bumpers. bowl with the ramp thats meant for 5 year olds.

don't be afraid to spell words worng.

only take vitamins if they are the flintstone gummy ones.

sing through out the day. in your car. walking to class. on the bike at the gym.

"is she singing baby by justin beiber?"

"yes. yes she is."

use toothpaste as a makeshift acne spot creme.

{and when i say makeshift, i mean always/current shift}

eat peanut butter from the jar. spooned out with your finger.

roll the windows down and shout from your car. while driving. with no hands.

{i know, i know. you are wondering how could i possibly not have my license any more!}

don't brush your hair.

{let the wild rumpusness BE FREE!}

dream about dropping out of school and somehow being on jimmy fallon.

{for who knows what! first person to eat muffins on the moon? mmkay!}

drink a total of 5 cups of tea after 10 pm.

{sleep whaauuut?}

steal borrow the napkins from the cafeteria. along with the napkin holder.

watch modern family instead of taking out the trash.

Phil- "The iPad comes out on my actual birthday. It's like Steve Jobs and God got together to say, "we love you, Phil."

use self tanner when you are paler than than scary girl from the ring.

{and end up with hands oranger than oompa loompas}

when in doubt buy!

{unless its crocs, but especially buy if its a topsy turvy tomato garden- as seen on tv style!}

count a cherry icee as 3 servings a fruit,

{take that food pyramid}

i have a confession to make.

sometimes late at night {after one too many teas, and a little too much dark chocolate} i get all hyped up and can't go to sleep. next thing i know its 4am and i'm watching music videos on tv {? i know.} and thats how i came to the realization of this confession. {james blunt will surely write a depressing song based on this. and Beethoven and Mozart are most likely rolling in their grave laughing at what music has come to.}

{disclaimer: usually my music taste doesn't resemble that of a 12 year old girl, but sometimes a song or two will slip through the cracks of the fortress that is my music.}

and thats the story of how i completely embarrass myself on a daily basis. i'm off to turn myself in for lusting after someone who i can only guess doesn't even have his permit.

{no, i wasn't listening to this song on repeat whilst typing this post. yes i was. i'm a monster. i account for half the 30,000,000 views on youtube.}